City vs. Country Living: What I've Learned During My First Week in Chicago

1. Animals in the country have better manners. They eat (and poop) in the woods, not on your porch. And they don't leave skanky chicken bones on your lawn chair.
2. In the country, no one serenades you on your way to work (except Justin Timberlake and Carrie Underwood). But in Chicago, the subway minstrel somehow knows who you are and sings "Sara Smiles" as you walk onto the platform.
3. Lack of touch is bad for your immune system. I've decided the cold I have is a direct result of not hugging for seven full days.
4. When you have to carry your groceries home from the store, you lose weight. Who wants to carry a 12 pack of Mountain Dew and a carton of Ben & Jerry's down the street?
5. Even though you're sure your car won't be there when you go looking for it, it's still there. And driving in Chicago isn't that bad as long as you don't cross any bus drivers.
6. Walking home from the el after dark isn't scary at all.
7. Everyone tells you that Chicago is a city with a "Midwestern attitude." If that means not making eye contact and only speaking when forced to, then I guess they're right. But this place is really not as friendly as people said it would be.
8. Everyone has a long commute, so using "I have an hour long train ride" as an excuse for the cushy teaching schedule isn't going to work.
9. Going to the bar after class is a lot more expensive here, but you can drink more because you don't have to drive home.
10. It is entirely possible to convince yourself that Chicago is nothing more than your 4 block walk to the el and the immediate vicinity of the UIC campus, but if you do this, you will regret it.

The Baby is Hungry

A couple of nights ago, I had a dream that I had a baby--well, a toddler--and I didn't know how to feed it. When I realized the child was hungry and I couldn't do anything about it, I was so overcome with guilt that it woke me up. So, no, I'm not pregnant...and I think the baby is a stand-in for poetry.

When I signed on for the crazy BBQ job, I imagined myself grabbing every spare minute to read or write, but I found myself doing very little of that. OK, I did read a few books this summer, but for the most part, I spent my down time sleeping, going out to eat with the crew, and on the phone with people at home. Many, many things were working against me: the 14-16 hour workdays, my crazy, spoiled, Russian princess of a roommate, the homesickness. And when I was home, well, it was usually for less than 48 hours and I spent most of it doing laundry and sleeping. The longer breaks didn't come until the end of the summer when it was time to start packing.

Anyhow, you, dear readers, are not my mother (well, one of you is) and are not my priest, so I guess I don't have to explain my guilt away like this. The point is, poetry got bumped this summer, and not because I didn't feel it was important, but because I couldn't find the emotional or physical energy to dedicate to it. And now, it's the day before fall semester begins and I don't feel like a poet at all.

I'm currently inundated with theory: Kant, Hegel, various composition texts, and still trying to adjust to this new city, which is, to say the least, overwhelming. I want to write, but I feel that other things are more pressing. I want to write, but I'm afraid I've forgotten how. I don't know how to feed the baby.

I've been joking to Boyfriend that my second ms is going to be called Lonely Country Girl in Chicago. Not a great title, and I imagine a pretty boring read...but the weird thing is that I can't even seem to eek out one of my old-style, overly sentimental poems. It's pretty bad when writer's block extends to the narcissitic, catharsis-inducing poems I've always reverted to in the past.

So, here's my question, folks: what do you do when the muse has taken a leave of absence? How do you tap into your inner poet when things like practicality and critical texts get in the way of your imagination? And, for those of you who have done or are doing the PhD thing...how do you balance being a scholar and an artist?

Prompt answers are appreciated...I have to have a new poem for workshop on Wednesday. : )

Moving to Chicago: A Photo Essay

The sky was falling over Indiana the day I picked up my keys. That night, they cancelled the Cubs game because of tornado warnings and torrential rain. Boyfriend & I waited out the storm in the pink-lighted Nick's Uptown, the closest bar to my new place.

Many thanks to ZS for the table-top inspiration. Boyfriend wants to remain annonymous, although most of my faithful readers are also facebook friends (or real life friends) and know who he is anyhow.
Me: tired, frizzy-haired, trying to play the role of detached urbanite.
And the studio. It's pretty spacey now that I have everything (almost everything) put away, but I'm still having trouble getting used to sleeping five feet away from my front door.
Here's the alley my balcony looks out on. Not much of a view, but I feel a little like a character from West Side Story when I'm out there.
Last but not least, something Akron definitely doesn't have: authentic Italian food (even cannoli!) delivered right to your front door! This is the Pasta Romantica, minus the shitake mushrooms, from Fornello. (I don't have a kitchen table yet, so for the time being, I'm eating at my desk.)

All in all, if you ignore my random sobbing fits, things are going well. I'm having some trouble adjusting, but everyone seems friendly (with the exception of the receptionist in my building--the one person who is paid to be nice) and the el is all right as long as I avoid rush hour, and I think I'm really going to enjoy the program...which is, after all, the reason I'm here. So, if you catch me weeping, don't worry. I'm just processing.

First Night

So, this is my first night alone in the big city. I'm a little nervous. I think, if I remember right, I'm always a little nervous my first night in a new place, but I'm extra nervous this time. Lots of strange noises at night around here. Lots of scary squirrels and raccoons (one of which likes to poop on my balcony) and who knows what else out there. Hopefully the exhaustion beats the anxiety, because I have to get up early for orientation tomorrow.

More later. With pictures. And maybe a mention or two of poetry if we're lucky.

I don't know if you noticed...

but there's a slight change of location in my profile. That's right, folks, I officially live in Chicago ...although I'm typing this from lovely West Akron. After a summer of living out of my suitcase, this is my last trip before I buckle down and start working on my PhD.

I'm not sure I have anything interesting to say right now, I just needed a blog fix. I'm happily done with my summer job from hell and almost ready to start the next phase of my life...but not before I try to say goodbye to some folks around here. I'm not very good at goodbyes, and I've never had to do it in such large quantities. There are going to be some tears this weekend, that's for sure.

Oh, I'm too tired for this. I'm sure I'll be back to my regular blogging habits in a week or two and will update you all on the move/new school/etc.