May Not Have, But Must

I've been tagged. (It's my first!)

"Here are five poetry collections you may not have read but certainly must. (Note: The collections, for whatever reason, should be a bit off the beaten path. And need not have caused the earth to open and swallow you whole.)"

My list, in no particular order:

Two Kinds of Arson - Brandi Homan
Drift of the Hunt - Craig Paulenich
Doubled Flowering: From the notebooks of Araki Yasusada
Miracle Fruit - Aimee Nezhukumatathil
Prairie Fever - Mary Biddinger

I swear, the fact that 2/3rds of my thesis committee made it on to this list is not ass-kissing, they really are good books. This list also makes me realize that most of the poetry I read gets passed on from Mary. Maybe I should try to find a book/poet before she does.

I tag...Justin Evans, Kristy Bowen, and Brandi Homan.

About that secret

Now that everyone knows, I can explain.

I was one of six people chosen from the NEOMFA to participate in a summer workshop/fellowship at the Wick ranch in Bisbee, Arizona. Here's a link about the program. I can't even begin to explain how excited I am. I applied last year but wasn't selected, so I had to watch my friends go off to the desert without me. This year, I'll be going with two of my closest friends and 3 other people who are pretty freaking cool, too.

I've never been to the southwest. When I was in high school I wanted to go to the University of Arizona, but didn't apply for whatever reason. I've always been fascinated with that part of the country...it's sad to admit this, but it was because of a ridiculous historical romance novel about an Anasazi girl and her love affair with Kokopelli. I tried to reread this book a couple of years ago and couldn't believe how bad the writing was, but the story stuck with me all through my teenage years.

Is it wrong to start a count-down until July 21? Do you think I'll make myself crazy?

another one down

Just finished my paper for tomorrow...with 6 and a half hours to spare.

Every day I start to feel a little bit better. By this time next week I should be just about done for the semester.

I've got a secret...

I heard good news today...and it involves me going to the desert. Yippee!

April Showers

If you read Puddlecuff's blog yesterday, you know it's been raining in Akron. I actually love the spring rain, so for once I'm not complaining about the weather. I am feeling hopeful, anxious, ready for summer.

Oh, and guess what...my paper is done, see:

There is a light at the end of the tunnel after all.

On another happy note, my class is getting much better. I still have 23 on my roster, but most days I have about 12 in class. They're trying harder and participating more, so I can't complain. Maybe I've got this teaching stuff down after all.

My students are either the most creative or the most unlucky when it comes to absences. They've had a myriad of health problems, a father with cancer, a grandmother who passed away, a baby (I know that one's legit), car accidents, and a bar fight that ended in a trip to the emergency room and a concussion. I hope they don't rub off on me--I don't need any more run-ins with the demonic little league team. Anybody have creative/unlucky students this semester?

Stolen Moments

After spending all weekend, 12 hours on Monday, and 4 hours this morning, I still didn't have my Muench/Cixous paper finished in time for class. I had 10 and a half pages, no conclusion, and no time to proofread 30 minutes before I had to leave for Kent. Oh, and I hadn't eaten or showered yet. So I gave in and took the optional extension (I guess extensions are always optional) and am going to turn my paper in on Thursday. I don't think it will take more than 2 hours to finish, but right now, I can't possibly think about feminism any more. I'll get back to it tomorrow.

I was going to spend the evening grading and starting my paper for Mary's class, but instead, I'm going to clean and veg out on the couch. If I get a second wind, I'll probably do some free-writing or pick a few poems for the Poetry of the Body paper, but I'm not counting on it. Thank God (and Mary (Mary B, not the virgin)) this one is only six pages, so it will take me half as long--plus it's not all theory crap, so that will shave off a few hours as well. I have all day tomorrow to work on it; hopefully that will be enough.

Meanwhile, the weather's beautiful finally. A little chilly right now, but the sun is shining and there are little buds on the trees. I think it is spring. I think.

I'm in love with Amy Winehouse, but haven't had time to go to the store and buy her CD. I just found out Akron U made a deal with some .com for free music downloads for students, so maybe I'll check that out. I'm so glad the student government is spending their time and money on something that will really impact my education.

This week, with all the paper writing stress, is confirming my plan to not get a PhD. I'm really not a fan of scholarly writing. Hopefully I win some prizes and get some books published so I don't have to give up on the idea of getting a full time teaching job at some point in the future. Right now, waiting tables and writing poems in my free time sounds like the perfect life. But maybe I'm just burnt out.

Well, the dirty dishes are calling me. I best go deal with them before I collapse with exhaustion. I think I'll be asleep by 9 tonight. What a dork.

aargh!

Freaking theory! Freaking term papers!

Two more weeks.

No love from Cincinnati Review.

Back to my papers.

yikes!

There are just two weeks left in the semester. Do you know what that means? I've officially procrastinated long enough to freak out. Time to start taking caffeine pills (kidding!) and ignoring all my family and friends that don't go to school with me (nothing personal, it's just if I don't bump into you, I'm not going to go looking for you right now). Don't you love this time of year? At least the weather is getting better.

Yesterday, Nephew and I signed the lease. He's moving in tomorrow. I'm a little jealous that he's going to be there almost a month before me, but I can't exactly pack up and go right now. I'll try to take some pictures in my copious free time.

You might be wondering why I'm blogging if I'm as swamped as I say I am. Well, here's why. One can't spend 18 hours a day thinking about poetry, freshman comp, and feminist criticism. One needs a short break every now and then. I don't expect to be back until late Tuesday, though, because my first paper is due that afternoon. So. Have a nice weekend. Enjoy the weather, and wish me luck on this paper.

Hot 100

Well, I don't know about hot, but this is my 100th post. Someone should win a prize.

Tonight is Mona's Open Mic with featured reader Tom Dukes, better known to me as Dr. Dukes (he calls his students Ms/Mr, so it doesn't seem right to call him anything but Dr.). I'm super excited to hear him read, since the only poem of his I've read is the one in RHINO.

I'm doing a presentation tomorrow on Sharon Olds' "Rites of Passage." Currently, I'm procrastinating from my preparation because I really don't want to do it. I blindly signed up for this poem without having read it, and frankly, I much prefer Olds' when she writes about being a young woman, lover, daughter, etc. than when she writes about being a mother. Unfortunately, when we signed up, I knew I wanted to do Olds but hadn't read any of the poems on the list of possibilities (and I thought I was a fan!) so I picked one at random, and it didn't work out. I guess I should stop complaining and start explicating.

I watched The Color Purple last night for the first time since I was a kid. I didn't mean to watch it--it was supposed to be background noise while I was working on my papers, but I got sucked in. It was really strange to see Oprah and Whoopi circa 1985, and even stranger to finally understand what the hell was going on, because the last time I saw it, I was too young to totally understand the sexual abuse and way too young to understand the Albert-Celie-Shug love triangle. Now I want to read the book again, cuz I'm pretty sure it's better.

By the way, I love the name Shug.

just checking in

I hate to leave my blog un-updated for so long, so a quick post before I get to work.

I turned in the rental application for a pretty nice townhouse this morning. We'll know tomorrow if we're approved, and if so, I'll be moving as soon as the semester is over. I'm alternately super excited and dreading having to pack and move. The super excited part lasts longer, though.

I'm writing my term papers about Simone Muench and we've been emailing back and forth. How cool is the internet? (And your profs introducing you to their writer friends?) I couldn't have imagined using the author of a book as a source when I was an undergrad. I also sent her a few of my poems and I am beyond excited about what she had to say about them.

In addition to the wonderful insights from Simone, I've been reading a lot of feminist criticism to get ready for these papers. I even bought a copy of Gilbert & Gubar's Madwoman in the Attic (although I haven't had a chance to read any of it). I also read an essay called "Why Contemporary Poetry isn't Taught in the Academy" (or something like that) by Michael McIrvin that really got me thinking. I'll post more on that later. It's strange how sometimes I "get" what I read and sometimes it all sounds like gibberish. But I feel like I'm learning something (or maybe "gaining comprehension" is a better way to describe what's going on in my head) so I guess that's the point, right? Maybe feminist criticism isn't the puzzle I thought it was at the beginning of the semester.

Should be sleeping

It's official. I'm moving in with my nephew at the end of the semester. Downside? I have to pack. Upside? W/D hookups, a huge bathroom, and a patio. Plus living with one of my favorite people on the planet. It should be good.

Just got home from dinner with the family/drinks with my sister. It was good to see her. I'm excited to visit next month and meet her dobermin puppy. I probably spelled that wrong, but I'm not going to look it up.

I've decided to give my students a chance to make up some of the work they didn't turn in for half credit. They've all been giving me really good (creative?) excuses for why they miss so much class, so I'm going to see how dedicated they are to making up what they've missed. I don't expect to get much turned in, but if it helps one person who is on the cusp to pass the class, then I'm happy.

Tomorrow is going to be very busy, but this weekend should be relaxing. I'm looking forward to it.

Mental Health Day

I hope the bosses aren't reading this, because I called in sick today so my brain wouldn't explode. There is so much going on this week, and I didn't think I could get it all done if I didn't steal a few hours from somewhere.

I'm back on track now.

After writing my proposal for the workshop, I am really excited to continue writing my thesis. I finally think I have a plan. I don't want to spill the beans too much, but I will say that there's going to be a persona, and he works for ODOT scraping dead things off the road. I was doing a little research and I found this: a woman who photographs roadkill. Creepy. I also found that the Dirty Jobs guy spent a day with ODOT doing just the job I want to write about. Here's the video:



Hope nobody was eating lunch.

Now, it's time to do my taxes. Then it's off to visit my sister who is in town from Virginia.

Yep, that's right

It's 3 a.m. and I'm still up. I've been working on a personal statement and proposal for a summer workshop since about 10 p.m. (with breaks, of course). It's so hard for me to think of my work in terms of a project when my natural tendency is to write the poems and see how they fit together later. I guess this is a good exercise for me. And I'm almost done, but I'm at that point where I'm not thinking straight but I'm too hopped up on soda to go to sleep right now. Hence the middle of the night blog post.

I've been doing terrible on NAPOWRIMO, and I think I'm throwing in the towel. I'm stressed out about enough other things that I don't need to add the stress of forcing myself to be creative when I'm not feeling it. I'm just going to focus on being a good academic for the rest of the semester and focus on poems over the summer. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make because my term papers for this semester are going to be fun to write.

I guess I should try to get some sleep. I wonder if I will still wake up at 7:30 when I'm up this late.

This should be National Term Paper Month

It is still winter in Ohio. Please, please Mother Nature, can it be spring now?

I spent most of the weekend at my parents' house, eating lots of food, playing scrabble, and watching movies. Unfortunately, I didn't get any homework done and I didn't write any poems. So once again, I wake up on Monday morning feeling swamped. But then, I thrive on pressure, so the truth is I'm not complaining at all. Except about the weather.

Quick updates--the open mic on Thursday was tons of fun. We had a lot of funny poetry that night...for example, a terribly inappropriate ode to Maya Angelou that included the line "Oh, me so horny." I read my two new prose poems and everyone thought they were about the same person, which got me thinking...persona? We'll see.

Friday night I got to Mary's reading with CP a little late, but just in time to hear about St. Monica. The reception at Steve's house after was probably the high-light of my week. Almost all my favorite MFA peeps were there.

Two more rejection letters this past week. I'm crossing my fingers for some good news soon.

Well, time to get ready for school. I'm collecting rough drafts today and doing peer groups. It should go pretty quickly, and then I get to spend the rest of the day cramming.

I haven't done my taxes yet... crap.

Day 5

I don't expect to get a poem today. I have no downtime (except right now, but I'm still too sleepy for poetry) until late tonight...so maybe there will be an exhausted, semi-buzzed poem before bed, but that won't get posted until tomorrow. Here's how my day's shaping up:

Now-11: finish class plan and homework for Contemporary Women
11-1: drive to school, teach class
1-1:30: lunch, check email
1:30-3:15: drive to Kent, Contemporary Women
3:15-?: listen to job candidate read at Kent
?-?: visit Dad at St. Thomas (back surgery, no worries)
?-6:30: dinner with Mona
6:30-9: Open Mic at Mocha Maiden--wine and poetry, my favorite combination
9:00-?: "Research" with Dawson and the rest of Akron's hospitality committee (i.e. drinking in local bars)

Well, I hope I don't have a stalker, cuz if I do, I just made it way too easy for him.

Is it spring where you live? It's f***in' snowing here.

Poem #4

had some good stuff in it, but was too sentimental and too personal to post. I think if I can revise it though, it will be a good way to deal with religion in the Tracey family--Mom's Catholic, Dad's an atheist, it always creates some interesting dynamics.

For now, I'm off to teach MLA format. My favorite class of the semester! (Blah!)

Poem # 3 and a walk in the park

is also not very good. I'm really not good at forcing poems to come. I'm more of a wait-for-inspiration kinda poet. Maybe that's why my thesis isn't long enough yet.

Hopefully I will have a new napomo poem for y'all soon.



It still doesn't look like spring in the Naturealm, but it felt like it today.

Poem #2

Sucks more than my tranny poem from yesterday, so I'm not posting it.

But I did hear the funniest thing on the radio today. This song was awesomely bad when Patrick Swayze did it, and it is awesomely bad as a hip hop remix, too.

Poem # 1 - finally something not autobiographical

Absurd & Untitled

May I rob this bank, please?
May I point my gun at the teller
and demand she open the vault?
I will stuff bills in my bra, my backpack,
line my shoes with twenties.
I need the money for a sex-change.
I mean, I have to buy myself a penis.
I want to look like Bob Dylan
when it’s done. The University
doesn’t pay me enough for this procedure.
Besides, I’ve heard they fire women
who show up to work with the wrong genitalia.


The Prompt: Stipulation Poem Exercise 2

1. Begin a line with the phrase "I want"
2. Make a reference to an influential artist/musician
3. Ask permission to commit a crime
4. Say something wildly inappropriate
5. Then, paraphrase the inappropriate statement
6. Include a final thought

Have you noticed...

that it's been pretty quiet in blog land lately? Even I didn't find anything to ramble about for three whole days!

Last night, I had a dream about line breaks...and how perfect mine are. I wish my consciousness had that kind of self-confidence.

It's April. National Poetry Month. I haven't written my poem for today yet, but then, I've only been up an hour.

I think I've conquered the prose poem beast. I now have two prose poems, and I think they're good. And long. Way longer than anything I write with conventional line breaks. I usually lose steam after about 20 lines. I'm excited to send them out.

Speaking of sending things out, I got a rejection from Cimmaron Review yesterday. No ink. : (

Last Thursday, Joyce Dyer came to campus for a lecture/reading. She's one of the University of Akron Press's authors, and her memoir, Gum Dipped is about growing up in Akron. She spoke about Creative Non-Fiction--what it is, how to do it, the ethics of it, etc. Got me thinking. I've always wanted to write a memoir but I didn't think I had the "right" to. So I've shoved personal experience into bad fiction and into poems (that I hope aren't bad) instead of just writing personal essays. I'm starting to think I might just let myself try that memoir thing next.

JD also talked about how to deal with revealing family secrets/depicting family members in flattering or not so flattering ways, which made me think about my family poems and the way my family is depicted. In "The Orchard," I describe one of my sisters as "lurking." When she read it (from what I heard) she was a little miffed. I wonder what she's going to think when she reads the poems that are specifically about her? I said something to my mom on Friday about this fear of mine, and she said it was too bad for "them" if "they" didn't like what I write. I wonder if she'll still be saying that when she reads the poems that are about her? (Love ya, Mom!)

I'm reading RHINO 2007 this week. I'm loving it so far, especially the Editors' Prize winner "Etudes for El Paso and Spanish Guitar" by Akron's own Thomas Dukes. Dr. Dukes is such a smart, funny person and this poem gives me goose bumps. He's reading at Mona's Open Mic this month and I cannot wait!

Speaking of readings, Northeast Ohio seems to be quite the touring spot. Joyce Dyer last week, Mary and Craig on Good Friday, Jimmy Santiago Baca on the 10th. I'm sure there's more that I'm not thinking of off the top of my head. Oh, duh! Upstart Crows Open Mic on Thursday and my own reading on the 13th with several other local "emerging" poets (I have emerging in quotes because it feels really pretentious to call myself one). It's a good thing I don't have a social life, otherwise there might be some conflicts with all these readings.

Well, now that I've been blogging for 30 minutes, I am going to go find something to eat and finish re-reading Becoming the Villainess for class next Saturday.