On Thursday, I'm going home and I'm so excited I can't concentrate. I am like a kid going to Disney Land for heaven's sake.
I have about 1,000,001 things to do, but none of them are getting done. Not reading Judith Butler, not working on my syllabus for comp 2, not writing/revising poems, not cleaning or packing...just playing around on Facebook and blogging. Really productive.
I don't know if it's because the trip home is finally in sight, or if I'm starting to settle in...but I haven't cried or freaked out in about a week. The thing is, I'm still not thrilled about what I'm doing here, but I'm trying to be more patient. I'm also giving myself permission to adjust my priorities a little bit...meaning that just because something is assigned to me, it isn't necessarily the most important thing in the world. If I don't dive face first into Heidegger and Derrida because I'm reading poetry, or if I slack on my comp syllabi because I'm working on one for intro to poetry, it's kind of okay.
What I'm most looking forward to, and what I've always been excited about in terms of getting a PhD, is studying for my prelims. I'm not actually looking forward to taking them, just to the year or so when all I have to do is lock myself in a library carroll and read. And, theoretically, everything on my reading list will be interesting to me, because I will be the one writing the list. So, in my new world-view, I'm just biding my time until I finish my course work and register for those reading hours.
Also on the happy side of things, I got my teaching assignment for spring today, and my classes are at 10 and 11, which means I don't have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn. Yippee!
Enough! I have to go try to accomplish something...
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