Two Steps Behind

I've been in Chicago (more or less) for a month, now, and I just can't seem to get a good rhythm going. I'm constantly rushing to finish my homework on time, constantly tired, constantly disoriented. At least it's constant, right?

I haven't been posting much because I'm trying not to be a whiner. Things are good...I'm just not used to them yet. So, in the spirit of being positive, here's a list of things that aren't stressing me out:

• Having dinner with Brandi last Friday, & realizing I am not the only small town girl who was/is freaked out by living in the city
• Peapod grocery delivery.
• It's fall in Chicago. Rainy yesterday, but today, cool, crisp, and sunny. My favorite weather.
• My poetry workshop. It's different than what I'm used to, and I'm still feeling a little blocked, but I think it's going to be very, very good for me.
• Hanging out at Lil' Joes on Wednesday nights. This is an Ohio-esq bar. PBR on tap, cheap food, no loud music. Just loud, drunk English geeks talking about politics, poetry, and gossip. It's almost like going to Pints!

Well, it's a short list, but it's better than nothing, right? I'm hoping every week, every month, every semester will get easier. They call this semester PhD bootcamp around here. I guess, if I can make it through this, I'll be ready for anything. (Ask me how I feel about that 2 years from now when I'm studying for prelims.)

Now, off to read Lukacs. Fun, fun.

another one down

Just finished my paper for tomorrow...with 6 and a half hours to spare.

Every day I start to feel a little bit better. By this time next week I should be just about done for the semester.

Stolen Moments

After spending all weekend, 12 hours on Monday, and 4 hours this morning, I still didn't have my Muench/Cixous paper finished in time for class. I had 10 and a half pages, no conclusion, and no time to proofread 30 minutes before I had to leave for Kent. Oh, and I hadn't eaten or showered yet. So I gave in and took the optional extension (I guess extensions are always optional) and am going to turn my paper in on Thursday. I don't think it will take more than 2 hours to finish, but right now, I can't possibly think about feminism any more. I'll get back to it tomorrow.

I was going to spend the evening grading and starting my paper for Mary's class, but instead, I'm going to clean and veg out on the couch. If I get a second wind, I'll probably do some free-writing or pick a few poems for the Poetry of the Body paper, but I'm not counting on it. Thank God (and Mary (Mary B, not the virgin)) this one is only six pages, so it will take me half as long--plus it's not all theory crap, so that will shave off a few hours as well. I have all day tomorrow to work on it; hopefully that will be enough.

Meanwhile, the weather's beautiful finally. A little chilly right now, but the sun is shining and there are little buds on the trees. I think it is spring. I think.

I'm in love with Amy Winehouse, but haven't had time to go to the store and buy her CD. I just found out Akron U made a deal with some .com for free music downloads for students, so maybe I'll check that out. I'm so glad the student government is spending their time and money on something that will really impact my education.

This week, with all the paper writing stress, is confirming my plan to not get a PhD. I'm really not a fan of scholarly writing. Hopefully I win some prizes and get some books published so I don't have to give up on the idea of getting a full time teaching job at some point in the future. Right now, waiting tables and writing poems in my free time sounds like the perfect life. But maybe I'm just burnt out.

Well, the dirty dishes are calling me. I best go deal with them before I collapse with exhaustion. I think I'll be asleep by 9 tonight. What a dork.

As promised...

a happy blog!

I finished all my homework for the week except for my poem. Now I have until Saturday morning to let my creative juices flow.

Just 3 tiny weeks til Hotlanta...where the world isn't frozen.

I was reading some theory last night...and it made sense! I think there's a saturation point where if you read enough of it, you just start to get it. Halle-freaking-leujiah. PhD's, here I come!

The sun is shining, and has been for several days. If I never go outside, I can pretend it is nice out. This is very unusual for February in Akron.

Now, it's time to watch Dawson's Creek while I eat my breakfast. What could be better?