City vs. Country Living: What I've Learned During My First Week in Chicago

1. Animals in the country have better manners. They eat (and poop) in the woods, not on your porch. And they don't leave skanky chicken bones on your lawn chair.
2. In the country, no one serenades you on your way to work (except Justin Timberlake and Carrie Underwood). But in Chicago, the subway minstrel somehow knows who you are and sings "Sara Smiles" as you walk onto the platform.
3. Lack of touch is bad for your immune system. I've decided the cold I have is a direct result of not hugging for seven full days.
4. When you have to carry your groceries home from the store, you lose weight. Who wants to carry a 12 pack of Mountain Dew and a carton of Ben & Jerry's down the street?
5. Even though you're sure your car won't be there when you go looking for it, it's still there. And driving in Chicago isn't that bad as long as you don't cross any bus drivers.
6. Walking home from the el after dark isn't scary at all.
7. Everyone tells you that Chicago is a city with a "Midwestern attitude." If that means not making eye contact and only speaking when forced to, then I guess they're right. But this place is really not as friendly as people said it would be.
8. Everyone has a long commute, so using "I have an hour long train ride" as an excuse for the cushy teaching schedule isn't going to work.
9. Going to the bar after class is a lot more expensive here, but you can drink more because you don't have to drive home.
10. It is entirely possible to convince yourself that Chicago is nothing more than your 4 block walk to the el and the immediate vicinity of the UIC campus, but if you do this, you will regret it.