Ugh.

I'm having a hard time being a teacher today. I feel like I'm not doing a very good job and I have a tendency to not like doing things I don't think I'm good at. My students are tough this semester. They don't like to participate. And I don't like to lecture. This isn't a good combination. When I plan a discussion and no one talks, I don't know what to do with the rest of the class period. I suppose I'm just not being tough enough, that I should be calling on people and forcing them to talk (or using the activities you all suggested for me a few weeks back), but the truth is, I don't want to have to force them. I want them to care and be active particpants in their own education. Is that too much to ask?

I was reading some articles today about Teach for America, and apparently, there are a lot of people out there who think the program undermines "real" teacher training (i.e. Education degrees) because they only provide 5 weeks of training. Do you know what I would give for 5 weeks of training? I got 4 days! About 20 hours. Did anyone teach me what to do with a non-responsive or disrespectful class? Nope. Do I have the skills to bring a wayward discussion back to the topic we were supposed to be discussing? Not so much. Will I get them through this sink-or-swim situation I'm in right now? Maybe. Could I use more training? Most definitely.

I suppose most TAs feel like this at some point during their first year. I'm just not enjoying it right now. I have so many other things to worry about (hello term papers!) that I really want to be able to kick out a quickie class plan and not worry that it will be a miserable failure.