and so is my personal statement.
To be more accurate, I still haven't written one.
I'm definitely freaking out about the deadline, but I'm more freaked out about the reason behind my impossible writer's block. I'm afraid, very afraid, of actually going through with these applications.
I've lived here (NEOhio) all my life. I've had my family, my best friend since fifth grade, the comfort of knowing the U of A campus and faculty for so long...I'm afraid to dig up my roots and go someplace new. Not to mention my new(ish) NEOMFA friends. I'm going to miss them, this place, my regular life.
But more than that (maybe) I'm afraid that I'll be turned down. Everywhere. Some days, I feel pretty confident. I have a good GPA, good GRE scores, a good collection of poems (published and unpublished) that I'm more than proud of, and if I can just get what's in my head onto paper, there's no reason why I shouldn't be a competitive applicant.
But I have a tendency not to do things that are scary--things that aren't 100% going to happen, and I'm terrified of my own reaction come March, if all those schools say no. What will I do then? Knowing myself, I'll cry, I'll pout, and then I'll start looking for other options. The disaster will only last a couple weeks. But in the meantime, I don't like thinking about that possibility, and no one can say no if I don't ask.
1 comment:
maybe you should get a friend to write one for you, and then you could kind of use it as a draft, as a starting place. or write it as a poem!
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