volcano, volcano, volcano

The long awaited At the Drive-In Volcano came yesterday, and I sat down and read it cover to cover in about an hour. I love when books of poetry are easily digestible like that, and I like it even better when I finish reading and want to start over. I've been anxiously awaiting this book since Winter Wheat 05 when I heard Aimee read some of her "new poems" after reading several from Miracle Fruit (which I promptly bought and devoured). I haven't digested enough of Volcano to do a proper review, but I have to say that I love what Amiee does with food, with sea life, with plants. She does what I think poetry should do (but I haven't mastered yet): makes everything new, makes me think I've never seen a fish, never tasted a mango, never touched someone else's skin. And, having heard Aimee read, her sweet little voice is bouncing around in my head. I love it.

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Last night, I watched a biography of Marilyn Monroe. How sad. And a tiny bit surprising to me that our celebrity obsessed culture started decades ago. I never realized, or thought about it to realize how long we've worshiped normal people who manage to get some screen time. I'd be a hypocrite to criticize it though, since I can tell you a lot more about celebrity relationships and scandals than I can about the war in Iraq or what W is up to this week. I don't know why that is...I grew up watching the 6:00 news at dinner almost every day, so I've always been somewhat aware, but I've never had the desire or discipline to keep up with it as an adult. Partly because I get frustrated and confused. Partly because I prefer to live in my own little bubble, feign ignorance, and tell myself that the only thing I can change is myself, so I'll just focus on that. I guess it makes me a little selfish, but I'm a scorpio. It's in my nature to be self-involved.

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I've been diligently working on my thesis this past week for a couple hours almost every day, but I'm having a little trouble. I'm trying so hard to produce new stuff and get to my page minimum, but as I write the new poems, a lot of my older ones start seeming lack-luster. I wonder if it's just because they're no longer new to me? They seem less mature, less crafted, and it's really hard for me to revise something that I've thought was done for a year or more. I don't know how to revise the old stuff. I'm hoping to crank out a bunch of new ones so I don't have to revise them, but we'll see what happens as the summer goes on.

I'm also struggling to come up with a publishing strategy. I would like to enter some chapbook competitions this fall, but I feel like I should have more individual poems published before I do that. Especially since the few publications I do have are mostly poems that I won't be including in the chapbook. I don't know how important that is, but I do know when I read a chapbook or first book, almost every poem shows up on the acknowledgement page. I've got about 10 poems still out there from my last two rounds of submissions, so maybe I'll get some good news before it's time to submit the chapbook, but you never know.

I am getting kind of nervous that I'm almost done with my MFA and only have stuff published in 4 journals. I'm starting to question my skill/talent...and I know that most people get rejected a ton at first, so rationally, I know I'm just being paranoid, but it seems like other people who are finishing their MFAs are a bit ahead of where I am. I have to constantly remind myself that I started writing poetry late. I came into the program as a fiction writer and didn't take any poetry classes as an undergrad, so realistically, I've only been writing poetry seriously for less than two years. Give myself a break, right? I'm trying.

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Thunder has been rumbling in the distance all morning. I hope we're in for a storm.